Tales of the Weird

Occasionally something will come into the hospital that can't be described as anything but just plain weird. Yesterday we had one of those patients: a canine hermaphrodite.

 Yeah, we don't know either.

When we saw him/her, he/she was in the hospital for an unrelated wound repair surgery. He/she had been neutered previously, but we weren't sure what kind of procedure was used. (All hermaphrodites aren't created equal, and from what I understand there's quite a range of hybridization that can be expressed, both externally and internally.) All we found was a tiny scar right of the midline just above the vulva. Dr. Boss Lady was fascinated, though, and wanted me to take pictures for possible future reconstructive surgery. She spent an almost uncomfortable amount of time studying the, um, region.

Also, this happened last night right as we were about to close.

Scene: A distraught lady came rushing in with her dead cat in her arms. The receptionist placed her in a room, and the senior assistant went in to get some information. Ms. Deadcat, upon being asked if her cat had been ill and how long, jumped down the poor assistant's throat. He left, and Dr. Boss Lady joined her soon after. At first Ms. Deadcat demanded a necropsy, but when she was told what it would cost, she declined, and then the meeting switched into therapy mode.

Ms. Deadcat: Dr. BL, ever since I've started coming to Kickass Animal Hospital, I've had THREE of my babies die!

Dr. BL, looking impressed: One more and you can get your name on the door.

When she came out of the appointment and told us, our jaws dropped. She high-fived the senior assistant and said, "That one was for you."

(To be fair, Ms. Deadcat has been a client of ours for a long time. She and Dr. BL are actually good friends and both pug owners. She was understandably emotional at the time, and that zinger was Dr. BL's way of snapping her back to reality. She later apologized to the senior assistant. It was still a great moment.)

Looks like there's going to be some inclement weather this evening. Fingers crossed we won't have any overnight patients, and maybe I won't have to come in tomorrow.